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  #31  
Old 05-19-2014, 07:47 PM
Veggiewitch Veggiewitch is offline
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Originally Posted by raindrop_333 View Post
I'm so sorry I can't imagine. How are you all doing?
Thank you for the ... they mean so much.

There has been a marked decline in my mother's state of mind, and a definite regression/deterioration. She is currently in hospital to treat another uti , and has been in since last Tuesday (05/13/2014). She is also in a pull-up diaper 100% of the time, and is probably incontinent about 75% of the time. She has lost control of her bowels twice at home since May 4, 2014, and twice since her stay in hospital this past week.

They are keeping her for observation, because she isn't near her baseline confusion yet. We also need to set up more supports here at home before her release, and get her officially on a waitlist for a long-term care facility.

One of her more recent, more distressing behaviours, is handling her feces.

I'm told that is common in later-stage dementia, because of the disconnect between what is healthy and unhealthy (or even safe).

It breaks my heart to see my mom deteriorate so sadly and rapidly, and tears at me to know that I am no longer able to provide the appropriate care she truly needs. I've done my best, but I can't do anymore.
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  #32  
Old 05-19-2014, 10:35 PM
raindrop_333 raindrop_333 is offline
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I can't imagine seeing my mom like that. I'm so sorry. I hope you don't feel guilty for not being able to provide care anymore. You have nothing to feel guilty about
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  #33  
Old 05-19-2014, 11:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Veggiewitch View Post
Thank you for the ... they mean so much.

There has been a marked decline in my mother's state of mind, and a definite regression/deterioration. She is currently in hospital to treat another uti , and has been in since last Tuesday (05/13/2014). She is also in a pull-up diaper 100% of the time, and is probably incontinent about 75% of the time. She has lost control of her bowels twice at home since May 4, 2014, and twice since her stay in hospital this past week.

They are keeping her for observation, because she isn't near her baseline confusion yet. We also need to set up more supports here at home before her release, and get her officially on a waitlist for a long-term care facility.

One of her more recent, more distressing behaviours, is handling her feces.

I'm told that is common in later-stage dementia, because of the disconnect between what is healthy and unhealthy (or even safe).

It breaks my heart to see my mom deteriorate so sadly and rapidly, and tears at me to know that I am no longer able to provide the appropriate care she truly needs. I've done my best, but I can't do anymore.
I am trying not to cry since my mimi still isn't in bed. I am so sorry and I hate saying I understand but I do. My mimi is declining super quickly and ended up fainting last friday and was in the ER until saturday. We are now waiting for her placement. I was told it would be done before I left June 22nd or by that date at the latest since she can't be on her own anymore
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  #34  
Old 05-20-2014, 12:18 AM
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So sorry Denise. I really am.
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  #35  
Old 05-20-2014, 03:03 AM
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I went through the exact same decline with my mom.

Agony. I am so sorry.
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  #36  
Old 05-20-2014, 09:58 AM
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I'm so sorry. With Felix's dad, he kept getting up and falling, and he wouldn't agree to stay in bed. Sometimes you simply cannot provide safe care at home when there is mental deterioration involved. It was heartbreaking, because I know he wanted to stay at home.
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  #37  
Old 05-20-2014, 12:08 PM
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Oh, Denise. I'm so, so sorry.
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  #38  
Old 05-20-2014, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by kitty1163 View Post
I went through the exact same decline with my mom.

Agony. I am so sorry.
Yes agony is a pretty good descriptive. We
all as a family have a really hard time with this. My uncle has asked too be removed from the emails because it's heartwrenching. They all have a really hard time so imagine me all day long trying not to burst out crying because she wouldn't undertsand why. Last night I told her it was my 40th birthday today and she said wow really? I thought you were 22 yrs At the hospital when I was leaving and told her I was going back home for the weekend she thought I was going back at my dads. Denise if you need to talk please feel free to message me on facebook patysloveys@yahoo.ca to add me
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  #39  
Old 07-13-2014, 03:52 AM
Veggiewitch Veggiewitch is offline
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Thank you so much again and again, Mamas.

My mom is regressing steadily, and continues to decline. She is 100% incontinent now, and has no control over her bowels, either.

We've managed to get our Home Care increased to 4 hours per week night (5:00pm to 9:00pm), and 7 hours on weekends (1:00pm - 8:00pm), because those times are when I work. I don't work every night or weekend, but when I do go to work it's nights or weekends only, so I'm home during the day caring for my mom. I'm glad our care was increased, because there were gaps between when care was here and I wasn't, so my 15-yr old and 10-yr old were providing the care. I love it when my girls help with Grandma, but they're too young to be primaries for her. My mister (dh/fella/guy/dude) is always here when I'm not, but my mom isn't very comfortable with male help and he doesn't want to upset her.

The extra care from Home Care providers has lifted so much stress from our whole family, and it's so greatly appreciated. I know we're very lucky to have it, and my mother is, too. Without it we'd be forced to place her in an under-staffed and over-priced facility.

We are going to keep upping the Home Care until we run out of what my mom qualifies for, and potentially fill any remaining gaps with private care. We (my mister and I) know that although she might actually need a facility, it is probably not the best place for her, since she is completely unable to defend herself or report any abuses she might suffer. She'd be a perfect target for abuse, since her dementia has rendered her very much like an infant.

One day at a time is all we can do. Her particular type of dementia gives a 5-8 year prognosis, and she was diagnosed in 2010, which leaves us with another 1-4 years. I honestly don't think she'll make it another 4 years, but she's physically healthy enough to make it pretty close. **fingers crossed**
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  #40  
Old 07-13-2014, 03:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Veggiewitch View Post
Thank you so much again and again, Mamas.

My mom is regressing steadily, and continues to decline. She is 100% incontinent now, and has no control over her bowels, either.

We've managed to get our Home Care increased to 4 hours per week night (5:00pm to 9:00pm), and 7 hours on weekends (1:00pm - 8:00pm), because those times are when I work. I don't work every night or weekend, but when I do go to work it's nights or weekends only, so I'm home during the day caring for my mom. I'm glad our care was increased, because there were gaps between when care was here and I wasn't, so my 15-yr old and 10-yr old were providing the care. I love it when my girls help with Grandma, but they're too young to be primaries for her. My mister (dh/fella/guy/dude) is always here when I'm not, but my mom isn't very comfortable with male help and he doesn't want to upset her.

The extra care from Home Care providers has lifted so much stress from our whole family, and it's so greatly appreciated. I know we're very lucky to have it, and my mother is, too. Without it we'd be forced to place her in an under-staffed and over-priced facility.

We are going to keep upping the Home Care until we run out of what my mom qualifies for, and potentially fill any remaining gaps with private care. We (my mister and I) know that although she might actually need a facility, it is probably not the best place for her, since she is completely unable to defend herself or report any abuses she might suffer. She'd be a perfect target for abuse, since her dementia has rendered her very much like an infant.

One day at a time is all we can do. Her particular type of dementia gives a 5-8 year prognosis, and she was diagnosed in 2010, which leaves us with another 1-4 years. I honestly don't think she'll make it another 4 years, but she's physically healthy enough to make it pretty close. **fingers crossed**
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and mimi to
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Oceane 2/22/2014
Coraline Angéline 2/25/2016
and Dolan 2/22/2017
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  #41  
Old 07-13-2014, 04:11 AM
kitty1163 kitty1163 is offline
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I keep seein my posts in this and am surprised.
I try to forget the last years
Of my moms life bc they were so terrible.

I truly am so sorry. Glad you have the in home care
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  #42  
Old 07-13-2014, 01:24 PM
Veganmamma Veganmamma is offline
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How and where did you get funding for the in home care? I ask because my Mom will need help at home someday soon. So far she is hanging on living on her own, but my DH says its by a thread since we take care of her meds and bills.
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  #43  
Old 07-14-2014, 02:57 PM
Veggiewitch Veggiewitch is offline
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How and where did you get funding for the in home care? I ask because my Mom will need help at home someday soon. So far she is hanging on living on her own, but my DH says its by a thread since we take care of her meds and bills.
We live in Alberta, so the Home Care is covered by Alberta Health Care. I'm not sure, but you could ask her doctor or placement/transition services at a hospital near you if there's anything similar. There are two ladies who come consistently here, and it's very important for my mother. She's always been shy, but her condition basically wipes much of her short-term memory pretty clear (like Groundhog Day ), so trusting new faces isn't easy. It's also nice to have regular faces who see the same deteriorations as me, then document their observations, and report those to their supervisors, who then report back to Alberta Health Care. It helps when I need to request reassessments for my mom.

I really hope you can find assistance for your mom, and keep her out of an old home until it's absolutely unavoidable. If they're anything there like they are here, they're completely privatized and prohibitively expensive for a pensioner.
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