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  #16  
Old 05-21-2015, 11:00 PM
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I would probably hand my 14 year old over to the cops and press charges, but I also have to say that since I know prison will not fix the child, but is in fact damning them to a life worse than anything, I could also see being tempted to punish them severely and get counseling for everyone involved.

You know what I mean? I mean, I can just throw the child away for their crime, but I can admit that it would kill me to do that. There is no redemption there. That's saying "You might as well be dead, so have fun rotting on jail because I don't want you anymore" It might be the right thing to do, but oooh yeah, that would be a death blow to my heart.
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  #17  
Old 05-21-2015, 11:32 PM
GypsyMama2MEA GypsyMama2MEA is offline
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He made a statement. http://www.people.com/people/mobile/...925368,00.html
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  #18  
Old 05-21-2015, 11:42 PM
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That, that right there is integrity. Wow.

Again, some people would throw their kids in jail (which they'd deserve), but I can also see other parents going this route.
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  #19  
Old 05-21-2015, 11:47 PM
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There was absolutely no rug sweeping in that statement. He owned his actions and I have to commend him for that. I pray that he's truly a changed person.
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  #20  
Old 05-21-2015, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowitchgrl View Post
That, that right there is integrity. Wow.

Again, some people would throw their kids in jail (which they'd deserve), but I can also see other parents going this route.
I agree. I'm really torn on how I feel about this whole situation. I will say I'm impressed that he stepped up and admitted his wrong doings instead of using their power to have it swept under the rug. I am extremely disgusted that this happened in the first place, I'm not saying that. And it's unforgivable (IMO) and he absolutely should've served time, the girls he molested deserve that. So there ya go. That's my thoughts.
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  #21  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:07 AM
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http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment...police-report/

fox news
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  #22  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:27 AM
debcita429 debcita429 is offline
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One of the victims had the records destroyed today (I have to wonder how the other four sisters feel about that deep down), so news sources probably are not going to be able to probe deeper and have more discussions apart from the official statement.
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  #23  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:50 AM
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I think it's something that the girls felt safe telling on him, so it is possible that maybe they do want to put this behind them.

Or maybe not. I know that now that I'm over my sexual assaults, I don't really care to think about them. I'm not ignoring, just that they aren't relevant to my life anymore.
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  #24  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:55 AM
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Maybe he's changed. He was a kid when this happened. Maybe they know he's changed and don't feel the need to drag themselves through this again.

Does it make it right what he did? No. Is it fair to his victims that he didn't have to pay? No. But maybe they really have forgiven him and just want to move on.
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  #25  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:58 AM
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He states that he knew he would ruin his life if he kept going down that path. No mention of what he was doing to his SISTERS' lives. I cannot respect that statement.
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  #26  
Old 05-22-2015, 01:02 AM
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True, he didn't mention them.

Either he's being selfish, or trying to keep them out of it by keeping the focus on all of it on him. I could see either.

Forgiveness isn't for the wrong-doer, it's for yourself. Holding a grudge and holding onto anger is like poisoning yourself and waiting for the other person to die. I actively work to let go of that feeling when I am upset with someone.
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  #27  
Old 05-22-2015, 01:16 AM
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I feel terrible for his sisters right now. Their facebook pages are getting slammed with extremely cruel comments on the situation.
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  #28  
Old 05-22-2015, 01:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenRainbow View Post
I feel terrible for his sisters right now. Their facebook pages are getting slammed with extremely cruel comments on the situation.
That is so awful! Let's all drag the victims through the mud, because they haven't been through enough horror, shall we?!
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  #29  
Old 05-22-2015, 01:35 AM
debcita429 debcita429 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenRainbow View Post
I feel terrible for his sisters right now. Their facebook pages are getting slammed with extremely cruel comments on the situation.
UGH. Just what they don't need.
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  #30  
Old 05-22-2015, 01:51 AM
debcita429 debcita429 is offline
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With the spotlight on them and the mudslinging already happening, no wonder they wanted the records destroyed. I consider it dicey though to ever destroy the records of sexual assault. It is not a matter of forgiveness but an ability to hold someone accountable and transparent on the details for the sake of those with whom they will work in the future. I know Christian counselors well--ones who believe in the power of transformation--but all of them believe that this sort of behavior has deeper roots than are ever really fully removed. Also with some of the sisters presumably still quite young and no doubt being encouraged by mom and dad to move past it, they may not have had an adult chance to really process what they feel is best. And I think that should always be granted to victims. The statute of limitations has its problems.

As for PP about not wanting him to go to jail, it is most unlikely he would have gone to jail unless his sisters had pursued that course. However, both the family and religious leaders should have approached the authorities sooner both because it is the right thing to do and because other families need to see that modeled so that these incidents are taken seriously. And the authorities, if valuing these girls, should have demanded more of him in terms of reparative education, public service, etc.


Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyMama2MEA View Post

Overall, I really respect most of what was shared in this article. That his family and he expected transparency while he was courting says good things. Fondling the genitals and breasts of five sisters absolutely is not a teenage mistake though; that is a deep issue. Couching it that way seems to me to make less of what the girls went through or the depth of psychological imbalance that was occurring.
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