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  #16  
Old 02-17-2014, 02:30 AM
sburt sburt is offline
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Just hugs.
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  #17  
Old 02-17-2014, 02:53 AM
kitty1163 kitty1163 is offline
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Meds don't have to be a bad thing
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  #18  
Old 02-17-2014, 03:08 AM
LisaEileen LisaEileen is offline
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Victoria isn't that age yet. I'm terrified when she hits puberty. In fact, we were discussing that act length at her last Team Meeting with the autism therapists. But, I do have pretty extensive experience working with teens and adults with autism who have severe behavioral issues. I worked in group homes of this nature for 15 years. The last house I worked at was the most challenging I've ever had to work at. I worked with 2, 18 year olds who were pulled out of other houses because their behavior was so severe. In the beginning we dealt with meltdowns several times a day. I lost a lot of hair in that house since the girl would always go for hair when she was in a meltdown. If you have any specifics you want to ask me, you can message me here or on FB. The biggest thing is that you need to talk with him after it's all over and he's calm again. He needs to understand that it's OK to be upset, but it's not OK to hurt himself or anyone else. I've used several different programs that help them understand how their body feels when they are heading towards a meltdown and what they need to do so they don't go over the edge. We are using a Red Light/Green Light program with Victoria right now. Yes, she's younger, but the therapists use it with older kids too. If you're interested, I can give you more info.

As for safely dealing with him while he's aggressive, I was re-trained every year in Non-Violent Crisis Intervention. When you're trained and you use it right, it is very helpful. Maybe you could find somewhere that you could get this training.
http://www.crisisprevention.com/Spec...s-Intervention

Message me if you want to talk.
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  #19  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:40 AM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaEileen View Post
Victoria isn't that age yet. I'm terrified when she hits puberty. In fact, we were discussing that act length at her last Team Meeting with the autism therapists. But, I do have pretty extensive experience working with teens and adults with autism who have severe behavioral issues. I worked in group homes of this nature for 15 years. The last house I worked at was the most challenging I've ever had to work at. I worked with 2, 18 year olds who were pulled out of other houses because their behavior was so severe. In the beginning we dealt with meltdowns several times a day. I lost a lot of hair in that house since the girl would always go for hair when she was in a meltdown. If you have any specifics you want to ask me, you can message me here or on FB. The biggest thing is that you need to talk with him after it's all over and he's calm again. He needs to understand that it's OK to be upset, but it's not OK to hurt himself or anyone else. I've used several different programs that help them understand how their body feels when they are heading towards a meltdown and what they need to do so they don't go over the edge. We are using a Red Light/Green Light program with Victoria right now. Yes, she's younger, but the therapists use it with older kids too. If you're interested, I can give you more info.

As for safely dealing with him while he's aggressive, I was re-trained every year in Non-Violent Crisis Intervention. When you're trained and you use it right, it is very helpful. Maybe you could find somewhere that you could get this training.
http://www.crisisprevention.com/Spec...s-Intervention

Message me if you want to talk.
I do always talk after a meltdown when we are both calm. I always explain and I actually do the same with the girls when they get mad and do something mean. I always tell them that it's perfectly ok to be upset, it's ok to be angry, it is never ok to hurt anyone in that upset and anger though. the biggest issue is that it's like he has absolutely NO control whatsoever and the beast just rages out of him. he is the most sweet spirited child i have ever met and it's like someone threw a rock at a hornets nest when a meltdown happens.

i'm about to go to bed now but we can chat on fb sometime. i'm just waiting for the motrin to kick in and then i'm going to take a hot bath. he got me good in the ribs and all up and down my back and the back of my head.
~~~~~~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty1163 View Post
Meds don't have to be a bad thing
I don't necessarily see meds as a bad thing. They just aren't my first option. I try to exhaust every other thing first. The problem I had with the meds when he was four and why (after picking my jaw up off the floor) I told the doc no way, is that without any other suggestions at all, they wanted to put him on some heavy psychotropics and what not. He was four. We have been really successful over the years with diet and other things. It's like things went completely crazy though once puberty hit and it's been over a year and nothing has settled down. He's back to where he was at age four only worse and bigger. The difference now is that we have tried absolutely everything that makes sense and a few others just in case and nothing has helped. So, now I'm leaning towards medicating.

If I can give him something that will help him and that will still let him be him, only better because people won't fear for their safety, then I'm totally on board.
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Last edited by NadiaRose; 02-17-2014 at 04:44 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #20  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:46 AM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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they wanted to put him on four different meds when he was four and two of those meds were mainly to counter the side affects of the other two meds. to me that is just insane to want to subject a four year old to.
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"Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
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  #21  
Old 02-17-2014, 05:27 AM
aschrimp aschrimp is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NadiaRose View Post
I didn't even know there was such a thing to help with meltdowns like that. I will definitely be looking into that. Things get too dangerous not to.
Ativan is what my dh takes to deal with situations where he is loosing control of his anxiety. The psychologist at the ER recommended that the dr prescribe us some for ds this summer, but he was unwilling to do so because he felt ds was too young (along with blaming ds's meltdowns on a "discipline problem"). He was a jerk, though, and our psychiatrist said she would give us some if we felt we needed it after starting him on the zoloft, but we really haven't.
~~~~~~~
Where we really have gotten the most and best help for ds was from a psychiatrist who works with a lot of kids with ASDs. The developmental pediatrician's only medication options were the heavy duty stuff, and I was uncomfortable with starting with stuff like that. The psychiatrist had *several* different options to try before the heavy duty meds. She said that often if you treat just one piece of the puzzle (for ds it was his anxiety) that it gives these kids enough help to keep themselves under control. It doesn't solve everything for him, obviously, but it has helped SO much. I felt much more comfortable with that approach than the "lets medicate for all the things" approach.
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Last edited by aschrimp; 02-17-2014 at 05:32 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #22  
Old 02-17-2014, 05:41 AM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aschrimp View Post
Ativan is what my dh takes to deal with situations where he is loosing control of his anxiety. The psychologist at the ER recommended that the dr prescribe us some for ds this summer, but he was unwilling to do so because he felt ds was too young (along with blaming ds's meltdowns on a "discipline problem"). He was a jerk, though, and our psychiatrist said she would give us some if we felt we needed it after starting him on the zoloft, but we really haven't.
~~~~~~~
Where we really have gotten the most and best help for ds was from a psychiatrist who works with a lot of kids with ASDs. The developmental pediatrician's only medication options were the heavy duty stuff, and I was uncomfortable with starting with stuff like that. The psychiatrist had *several* different options to try before the heavy duty meds. She said that often if you treat just one piece of the puzzle (for ds it was his anxiety) that it gives these kids enough help to keep themselves under control. It doesn't solve everything for him, obviously, but it has helped SO much. I felt much more comfortable with that approach than the "lets medicate for all the things" approach.
good point. if we do end up medicating, i'd really like to go as lightly as possible. heck, at four they wanted to put him on the heavy stuff so i can imagine what the doc would suggest at his age now. when we move i will be looking for psychs in the area along with docs. i am not really comfortable with the heavier meds either.
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"Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
The first is that if you disagree with someoneís lifestyle,
you must fear or hate them.
The second is that to love someone
means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense.
You donít have to compromise convictions
to be compassionate."

~Pastor Rick Warren~

  #23  
Old 02-17-2014, 11:00 AM
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I am really thinking that the hormones of puberty really have so much to do with this as far as throwing him off kilter and that maybe meds would help him. I totally undertand not wanting them when he was four, but I don't think its unrealistic to look into them now
~~~~~~~
do you have Standard or Prime for Tricare? If you have standard I can see wanting to wait b/c it can take forever to just get an appointment, buti you have standard I might try now to get the ball rolling.
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Last edited by Shopaholic; 02-17-2014 at 11:04 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #24  
Old 02-17-2014, 01:53 PM
jujusmommy jujusmommy is offline
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You know a friend of mine from Alaska has a 2/3 year old with autism. She started using essential oils with him daily and said the change is incredible. I wonder if you could try it? I know how hard you work with him and he truly has a good heart. He just can't control himself at times. I can hear your frustration. I'm sorry hun.
  #25  
Old 02-17-2014, 02:43 PM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shopaholic View Post
I am really thinking that the hormones of puberty really have so much to do with this as far as throwing him off kilter and that maybe meds would help him. I totally undertand not wanting them when he was four, but I don't think its unrealistic to look into them now
~~~~~~~
do you have Standard or Prime for Tricare? If you have standard I can see wanting to wait b/c it can take forever to just get an appointment, buti you have standard I might try now to get the ball rolling.
We have prime but our PCM is off post because we are 20 miles out from post.
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"Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
The first is that if you disagree with someoneís lifestyle,
you must fear or hate them.
The second is that to love someone
means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense.
You donít have to compromise convictions
to be compassionate."

~Pastor Rick Warren~

  #26  
Old 02-17-2014, 02:46 PM
LisaEileen LisaEileen is offline
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I'm sorry. I think I worded what I was trying to say poorly. I know you talk with him afterwards. I meant that there are different programs which teach different ways to work with the behavior before, during and after. It took several tries to find one approach that works with Victoria. It's not always perfect, but her behaviors are better controlled lately. She nearly had a huge meltdown at the waterpark yesterday, but we managed to stop it before it got out of hand. I'm sure you will find something that works if you can get hooked up with a professional.
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  #27  
Old 11-25-2014, 08:29 PM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaEileen View Post
I'm sorry. I think I worded what I was trying to say poorly. I know you talk with him afterwards. I meant that there are different programs which teach different ways to work with the behavior before, during and after. It took several tries to find one approach that works with Victoria. It's not always perfect, but her behaviors are better controlled lately. She nearly had a huge meltdown at the waterpark yesterday, but we managed to stop it before it got out of hand. I'm sure you will find something that works if you can get hooked up with a professional.
He gets worked up too fast at this point to try to work with him before and during. He could be happy and smiling and it's like BAM! Complete 180.

UPDATE:

After hubby coming home from deployment, moving, getting settled, and finally getting into the clinic, we now have a referral to a developmental pediatrician. We have to be seen off post but hopefully it's worth it. It's about an hour and a half drive. Now we just need an appt with the dev ped.

If any of ya'll are the prayin' type, please pray that we get in quickly and the doctor is worth his salt and will listen to us and get us what we need. Seems like a lot to ask for but I'm trying to have faith that it all works out how it is supposed to and things will make a turn for the better.
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"Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
The first is that if you disagree with someoneís lifestyle,
you must fear or hate them.
The second is that to love someone
means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense.
You donít have to compromise convictions
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~Pastor Rick Warren~

  #28  
Old 11-25-2014, 08:42 PM
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I hope you get what he needs to help him! I"m sure he doesn't like feeling that way and i can imagine how stressful it is.
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  #29  
Old 11-25-2014, 09:28 PM
aschrimp aschrimp is offline
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I'll be thinking about you. I think we will be there in a few years. DS is in a meltdown phase right now, and it's not going to be long before physically controlling him to keep him from hurting himself or other people will no longer be possible.
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  #30  
Old 11-25-2014, 10:00 PM
NadiaRose NadiaRose is offline
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When we took him to the regular doc to get the referral process started, they weighed and measured him. I don't think the height was right because he is a sloucher, but he is a hair taller than me and i'm 5'10". Also, he is 116 lbs. Holy crap. No wonder we can't contain him during a rage. I'm 220 and even use of my weight can't keep him down.
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"Our culture has accepted two huge lies.
The first is that if you disagree with someoneís lifestyle,
you must fear or hate them.
The second is that to love someone
means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense.
You donít have to compromise convictions
to be compassionate."

~Pastor Rick Warren~

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