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  #1  
Old 08-20-2015, 11:52 PM
Jae Jae is offline
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Default Special Needs Kids and Sports

Im not taking the older years where you have to try out and earn your play time. I mean the younger kids who get equal play time and are still in fun, learning mode, but are still mildly competitive.

So, is it fair to put a SN kid on a team? Is it fair to the volunteer coaches who are already trying to wrangle and teach a bunch of kids in a short amount of time? Or to the other kids who really want to win and do their best as a team?

Charlie has LDs and a lot of issues in school, but I literally forget the extent of his delays, attention deficit, and social issues until we get into one of these settings. We've done stuff at the Y with him before where it was more of a class and actual competitiveness wasn't an issue. But he is in football this year and three practices in, I can see how much extra redirection it takes his coaches to even get him semi-where-he's-supposed-to-be. I admit it's a little embarrassing to watch. I have to brace myself before practice and remind myself what a fantastic kid he is. HE is happy on the team. I think that as far as he is concerned, he will eventually do very well in football once he has a few more years to mature. It's just... I'm conflicted as to whether it's fair for the coaches and the rest of the team. They are being great right now (the coaches) but everyone is so PC nowadays I can't imagine them saying anything.


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Old 08-21-2015, 12:03 AM
Jae Jae is offline
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If this could be move to JBF I'll post a short video to show typical behavior.
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Old 08-21-2015, 12:13 AM
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I can understand the embarrassment of watching your kid need to be redirected frequently. We did soccer in June and he really struggled. The coaches were really good with him though, and said they've had lots of other kids like him. It wasn't competitive though, just a "soccer camp."
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Old 08-21-2015, 12:50 AM
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Nikos is very SN. He has trouble running, is nonverbal, etc. We did basketball. It was terrible. We did soccer. It was horrid.
I felt like the coach at soccer was going out of his way in helping Nikos at soccer and he insisted Nikos play equal like all the kids. Well, their team never won a game Nikos never chased a soccer ball. He would point at the other kids when we would tell him to go get the ball. He's like, if they are all running after it, why do I need to? While it was cute, again his team lost every game. He needed so much more direction and just help in general. We will never ever do sports with him again.
However, Nikos has no interest. He does not have the ability to ask to do these things. He does not care what he is doing or when. Part of it is that I NEED the other kids to like him. He likes people. I want them to think nice things about Nikos and be kind to him. I fear that if he were bringing down more sports teams, the kids are not going to continue to hug him and be his friend. I know that is sad, but it is what it is. I don't want him to be disliked because he caused his whole team to lose all the time... This is all just my perspective. And like I said, it is a choice we made, because he doesn't.
It's not easy raising a child with different needs. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a different world with him.
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Old 08-21-2015, 01:24 AM
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Is it through school? Is there a way his OT could observe a practice or two and come up with some ideas to help him with it?
Honestly now (before the competitiveness becomes a bigger thing) is the time I would be pushing him to do it (assuming he wants to) because it will help lay a foundation for him to be successful when it is really competitive.
Talk to the coach, let him know you see the struggle and you want to be part of setting him (and ultimately the team) up for success.
I wouldn't pull him yet
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  #6  
Old 08-21-2015, 01:46 AM
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No it isn't technically through the school. (It kind of is, but not in the way that his OT could help). Yes, I've talked to the coaches. I talked to them before the first practice and after it to thank them for their patience. He does like it and both his brothers are playing this year too (different teams). I wouldn't know what to tell him if I pulled him. And I have some hope that when we start ADHD meds there will be an improvement. That is NOT his only issue, so I know it won't be a miracle, but a help. That would be right at the beginning of September.

Really, we are just so used to "Charlie" that I barely even register his differences in our day to day life. Plus we had an absolutely wonderful evaluation this month where we learned that despite his LDs he is still at grade level or above and has an above average IQ. Then this party crashing experience stole all that joy.
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Old 08-21-2015, 02:31 AM
LisaEileen LisaEileen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Messy View Post
Nikos is very SN. He has trouble running, is nonverbal, etc. We did basketball. It was terrible. We did soccer. It was horrid.
I felt like the coach at soccer was going out of his way in helping Nikos at soccer and he insisted Nikos play equal like all the kids. Well, their team never won a game Nikos never chased a soccer ball. He would point at the other kids when we would tell him to go get the ball. He's like, if they are all running after it, why do I need to? While it was cute, again his team lost every game. He needed so much more direction and just help in general. We will never ever do sports with him again.
However, Nikos has no interest. He does not have the ability to ask to do these things. He does not care what he is doing or when. Part of it is that I NEED the other kids to like him. He likes people. I want them to think nice things about Nikos and be kind to him. I fear that if he were bringing down more sports teams, the kids are not going to continue to hug him and be his friend. I know that is sad, but it is what it is. I don't want him to be disliked because he caused his whole team to lose all the time... This is all just my perspective. And like I said, it is a choice we made, because he doesn't.
It's not easy raising a child with different needs. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a different world with him.
This is how I feel about it too when it comes to Victoria. I could have wrote the same thing. So, for my child, with her level of special needs, I wouldn't put her on a team with average kids. I do bring her to some sport activities with a group called Inspire, who partner with high school teams and they take a night to do something with special needs kids. One time we did volleyball, another basket ball, etc. From what you're saying about your son, I think I would keep trying for awhile. Especially if he's going to be taking some meds soon. If he's the kind of kid who will flourish when he gets into a routine and likes to follow rules, I think he will do well. Is he that kind of kid? Like you said, he's only 6. He's just learning how this is all supposed to work.
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  #8  
Old 08-21-2015, 02:58 AM
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I think it depends on the coach. My dh had two autistic boys on his t-ball team. Their mother was very worried at first.

My dh wanted them to participate, learn the rules and not get injured.

The boys had a great time and did great. My dh worked with them extra on throwing and catching. He gave them directions that were clear.

But my dh was not about winning. Some of the other coaches and parents were not as kind.
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  #9  
Old 08-21-2015, 03:05 AM
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Just a thought, but my niece is SN and plays sports through miracle league. They have football, cheerleading, baseball, basketball... All SN people.
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  #10  
Old 08-21-2015, 03:45 AM
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Logan plays soccer on a "regular" team. He always has. He has high functioning autism and we do have him play down to be on the same team as Evan during Spring soccer.
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  #11  
Old 08-21-2015, 03:05 PM
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I think as long as the coach is good with him, and doesn't complain to you about the extra effort I say totally keep him there!
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