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  #16  
Old 10-04-2011, 05:08 PM
MotherMoonPads MotherMoonPads is offline
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Originally Posted by *Elf* View Post
Yeah, when I used to give them he would hold my hair or the base of my neck, I have issues with anyone even near my face, let alone my neck.

If you even try to touch my neck, I will flinch and make it so you can't touch at all. (If that makes sense)
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  #17  
Old 10-04-2011, 05:38 PM
raindrop_333 raindrop_333 is offline
my nipples grew
 
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Originally Posted by TNB View Post
I was going to ask that too

But we are another couple in the camp if him not being comfortable with it at first and it taking awhile of marriage and me saying it was fine for him to feel it was not disrespectful to me. He doesn't touch my head or neck though...but yeah I agree with Elf..that would bug the hell out of me.
~~~~~~~
I just realized we have managed to turn this thread into a loveshack thread by accident

sorry mods!!


Nothing would have stopped me from having sex in high school Sometimes I wonder if my parents had been more involved in my life (in a positive manner), would I have been searching for that kind of relationship to fill a void I felt I had. At least I only had one partner (my SO), but I did get pregnant, so... And my mom tried getting me on birth control. I did get on the patch, but it made me very sick and I blacked out on it, so that scared me away from birth control. We should have been using condoms from the start, but we were thinking more about STDs and how we were both virgins, so no need for those... For some reason I just didn't think I could get pregnant.

Of course I hope my kids will not have sex in high school, but odds are that they probably will no matter how open we are and no matter how much they are educated on birth control methods, why waiting is a good idea, etc. We plan to have birth control methods available if they need them. I don't want my kids becoming teen parents. My BFF did not have sex until she was 19, but she got pregnant I think maybe the 3rd time she ever had sex, and the jerk (he's a cop, too ...which I know doesn't mean anything, really, but I guess I expected more?) left when their daughter was 9mos and hasn't been back. I just don't want my kids being young parents, period. I think now would be the time we would start talking about trying for kids, and I'm 24. I have an almost 7 year old and a 4 year old! We had kids FAR too young. I really, really don't want that for my kids.

Only just over 6 years until my daughter is a teenager
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  #18  
Old 10-04-2011, 06:11 PM
-Blair- -Blair- is offline
Crotch flap, baby?
 
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I would freak the heck out if someone was grabbing my hair or neck. The only time DH grabs my neck is when he is massaging it, and THAT I can deal with.
~~~~~~~
My parents were naive. They didn't believe that I was having sex until I was already pregnant. And, I got pregnant on birth control. More than once. The patch and the pill (which were intended to regulate my cycle).
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Last edited by -Blair-; 10-04-2011 at 06:12 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #19  
Old 10-04-2011, 06:47 PM
*Elf* *Elf* is offline
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My mother kept a condom bowl in her bathroom that we were allowed to grab from if we wanted to have sex.

My brothers made ample use of the bowl, us girls, used them for water balloons, lol.
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  #20  
Old 10-05-2011, 12:45 AM
mommy2four mommy2four is offline
might get squirted
 
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Originally Posted by MotherMoonPads View Post
So. Tell me what you tell your high schooler about sex?
Use a condom or I'll kill you.

Seriously though I've always been very open with him because I had him when I was 15. He knows how hard it was to raise him and get through school even with the support of my mom. Any chance I get I talk to him about it.
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  #21  
Old 10-05-2011, 02:17 AM
verdemama verdemama is offline
flopping teh nipplez about
 
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Originally Posted by MotherMoonPads View Post
I'm torn. Apparently it's the latest trend to do everything *but* sex, to prevent pregnancy. Of course that doesn't prevent STDs

And really, what the heck does a teenage girl get out of giving her boyfriend a blow job? How on earth does that benefit *her*?

This whole sex and the teenager thing just boggles my mind (although it obviously shouldn't )
Feeling of accomplishment. But honestly, that was my motivation as a teenager. I possibly thought it would make my boyfriend love me, and want to stay with me (when he wouldn't let me though, I kinda got the picture and we broke up soon after). Also, to be able to say "Oh, I've done that." Maybe it was just my group of friends, but teenage girls are notoriously concerned with pleasing others ahead of themselves, so there's that too.

I don't envy you all having the talks already. DD is only 4, so I'm taking notes!
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  #22  
Old 10-05-2011, 02:38 AM
urchin_grey urchin_grey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MotherMoonPads View Post
DH and I were talking about it last night. I don't find BJs disrespectful in a normal, loving relationship, but I just totally don't get why a teenage girl would give one to her BF. Thanks for explaining that though, makes more sense now.
I did. But they were reciprocated. No way in hell would I have gone down on a guy because HE wanted me to. When I did, it was because I wanted to and because I was getting something in return. Well, that, and we did love each other at the time.

Anyway, no teenagers, just find these types of threads interesting.
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  #23  
Old 12-18-2011, 06:06 PM
justbishop justbishop is offline
had a "butt room" in their basement
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MotherMoonPads View Post
DH and I were talking about it last night. I don't find BJs disrespectful in a normal, loving relationship, but I just totally don't get why a teenage girl would give one to her BF. Thanks for explaining that though, makes more sense now.
I don't see why teenagers can't be involved in normal, loving relationships...and following that logic, I would argue that a teen girl might give oral to her BF for the same reasons adults in loving, "normal" relationships do

Quote:
Originally Posted by urchin_grey View Post
I did. But they were reciprocated. No way in hell would I have gone down on a guy because HE wanted me to. When I did, it was because I wanted to and because I was getting something in return. Well, that, and we did love each other at the time.

Anyway, no teenagers, just find these types of threads interesting.
Yes to all of that.
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  #24  
Old 12-18-2011, 06:35 PM
FuzzyToaster FuzzyToaster is offline
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I was pretty much the model student in high school. I was in band, jazz band, color guard, dance, and had a part time job. I graduated with a 4.0. And I still had sex in high school. Granted it was right before my senior year started. Make condoms accessible, make sure she knows about planned parenthood and that she doesn't have to go with you. A friend took me. Ask her if she would like to be on birth control? Birth control is like a spare tire. You don't haul it around because you will need it, you haul it around because you MIGHT need it. I would rather prepar her for safe sex than try to get her to wait until marriage. I mean still talk to her about the importance of waiting, but prepare her for if she doesn't. Or worse, isn't given the option.
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  #25  
Old 12-18-2011, 06:36 PM
juliebrave juliebrave is offline
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I have a teen and I have always been age appropriately honest with him. He began asking about bodies and babies around 4. We got a book about it. He has asked everything imaginable and I have answered to the very best of my ability. It has been awkward and uncomfortable for me at times, but I did it anyway.
He began having sex this year. He was honest with me and he used protection. I am grateful for that, even though it made me kind of sad. I felt like I was losing my baby. He is becoming a grown up.
I should say I am not against teens having sex provided they are informed and honest with their parents and partners. I do wish he had waited a bit longer, though.
  #26  
Old 12-18-2011, 07:24 PM
kdina kdina is offline
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I don't have a high schooler yet. I have high school cousins that my uncles and aunts have asked me to talk to.
I've been super open. Sex is awesome. Sex is fun. Sex has huge repercussions that you're totally not ready for in high school. I totally thought I was ready to have sex in high school. I was sure I was in love. I was sure we'd be together forever. And opening that door led to a series of tragic sexual encounters that led me degraded and empty and hating myself.
Masturbation is just as pleasurable, carries no risk of pregnancy, STIs or emotional entrapment.
From a Christian standpoint I plan on telling my children that God has such a better plan for us by having us wait for marriage, that sex in marriage is SO MUCH BETTER. There's no guilt! If you're only with your spouse you never have random thoughts of "Oh, So-and-so was so much better!"
I will tell them that it is their choice that if they do choose to have sex that they need to protect themselves with birth control and condoms, EVERY TIME. As well as having regular screenings for STIs.
Ugh.
Chastity belts, we can still buy chastity belts, right?
  #27  
Old 12-18-2011, 07:43 PM
mama2madj mama2madj is offline
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my oldest is in 7th grade, not yet HS, but at least some of her friends are already active, as was I by then
I try to be open and honest with her. she still claims to think sex is gross, but has been hoping for her first kiss. She known I obviously had her when i was young (16) (then dc2 at 18, and dc3 at 20) and has her ideas that i was way too young. I'm not gonna argue with her on that point
she is insistent that she does not want to have a baby, ever. So I use that to discuss avoiding that possibility.
I'd like her (and all my dc) to be able to be open about if they are becoming interested. I don't make sex a taboo subject (or i try not to...) but of course i've found myself stumped more than a couple times.
I also don't believe in abstinence till marriage, which affects how i deal with it. I want my dc to be in a stable relationship.
I'm cynical about marriage, and would be still happily UNmarried right now, living with DP evenso.
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