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  #1  
Old 08-21-2011, 12:04 PM
TheFabFour TheFabFour is offline
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Default Your teenager....

What do they do around the house (chores, etc)? Does he/she work? How old are they? Do they drive? Do they pay for their insurance, car maintenance, gas, etc?


I will add my story after I hear what other people have to say.
Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2011, 12:16 PM
honeychild honeychild is offline
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Mine just left for college last month. When she was living at home her job was to be a student first and foremost. She was responsible for keeping her room in order and for doing her own laundry but I did not ask her to regularly do household chores. She was allowed to have a job her senior year because she was going to have to have one when she went away to school so I wanted her to get accustomed to working while she was still at home. Between that job and extracurricular activities and just being a kid, she wasn't home a lot and I didn't want to always be on her to clean up after someone else. She did drive but it was a family car so all she had to pay for was gas. She's my oldest so I just played it by ear but she's pretty responsible...so far.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:25 PM
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FWIW I was an only child and my parents were well off. I had a job when I was 16 and an affordable car that my parents bought me. I gave them half o my paycheck to go towards the car maintenance/insurance, etc and the other half was mine. I didn't have household chores b /c my mom hates anyone doing anything in her house. I wanted to do my own laundry desperately b/c she'd hang all clothes to dry in the basement where she smoked, so I'd sneak home quickly to wash and dry my clothes and get yelled at for washing small loads, but I didn't care LOL. I did keep my room in order. I wish she had me do more stuff so I could have learned more. My stepDD is a teen and not old enough for a job yet but I know she cooks dinner 1+ nights per week and has some specific chores she does.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:29 PM
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Jade is almost 18 yrs. She started working a couple weeks ago. On her days off she babysits Alexis who's currently with me since she is working today. She does some chores when she feels like it usually She also babysits her brothers when she is able to. She cooks some as well.
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:07 PM
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Mike is 15 and starts his sophmore year tomorrow. He is responsible for keeping his room clean and he also clears the dinner table and sets the dinner table. He does his own laundry and feeds the cat. He's supposed to do dishes (shared chore with 12 yr old) but he's done such a ~POOP~ty job lately I'm taking over. He does random chores that I tell him to do. He does not have a job but I expect he will next summer. He will pay his gas and insurance and half the cost of a car if he wants one. We are a one income, five person family so we can't afford to buy him a car or pay his insurance but we'll help as much as we can.
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  #6  
Old 08-21-2011, 01:19 PM
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I think most of it depends on your expectations for your child. I was working by 15. I had to pay for my drivers training behind the wheel class (250 bucks by then). My parents got me my first car that my dad paid 300 bucks for, but I had to pay for my registration and a years worth of insurance to be able to drive. And I always paid for my own gas. Both of my parents worked out of the home, so between myself and my sisters we were responsible for dinner and the kitchen. I did my own laundry, and had to keep my room clean, and the 3 of us were responsible for our bathroom. Senior year I was responsible for taking my niece to preschool and picking her up. I was also working 2 jobs by junior year. 1 was as a cashier, the other was as a farm hand.
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  #7  
Old 08-21-2011, 01:23 PM
abmama abmama is offline
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my DSD doesn't live with us and I don't really know her chores at home (though I imagine it's a lot of babysitting because her mom has a newish baby), so I don't have that perspective. But...

when I was a teenager, I didn't have to have a job. My parents felt my job was to get good grades. I was a straight A, GT and honors student and they were certainly hoping my grades would help me to get a scholarship (which I did). I also didn't drive much. My sister did, and she usually drove us to school (and my parents covered that gas and insurance) and my boyfriend drove everywhere else. My sister had a job (her choice) and when she used the car we shared to go other places she'd sometimes put gas in the car herself, but usually my parents just handed us the gas card (well, usually Daddy put gas in the car himself ). I got my own car when i was in college, and after my first couple of years of college I was expected to pay for the gas in it. I also bought myself a car at some point in college.

I did any chore I was asked to do. I didn't have a set list of chores, but we were expected to do anything we were asked and we did. We (my younger sister and I, who were still at home together) were very easy teens, though, and we did what they told us to do without argument. We also had to keep our rooms tidy. Like Kelly, I kinda wish my mom had us do laundry when we were younger. I had to learn that when I got married (she continued to do my laundry when I was in college, too).

My DH, OTOH, had to work his ass off in HS. From the time he was 15 he had a job. His mother was single, though, and expected him to work and do all the "manly" jobs around the house. He paid for any and everything he did.

I want to strike a nice balance between those. I know DH wants the boys to do the lawn when they're older. We probably won't be able to afford cars, insurance, and gas for all three kids, so they'll probably HAVE to help out there if they're going to drive. We sure as hell can't help DSD when she's old enough to drive (next year).
~~~~~~~
when I say I got my own car in college, actually my parents gave me a car for HS graduation. Before that my sister and I shared a car (since I rarely drove).
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Last edited by abmama; 08-21-2011 at 01:24 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #8  
Old 08-21-2011, 01:32 PM
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My DD is only 14, so no job or car.
She is expected to do a chore, we usually have each child do one chore a day, which in our house is room... either the kitchen/living room/bathroom... it has been working for us. She is sometimes asked to pay her cell phone monthly bill, but seeing as she has no income it's kinda hard unless she babysits or something.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:48 PM
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My oldest DD is 18 and just left for college a few days ago. I also have the mindset that academics are their primary "job"/focus and so they take very heavy/challenging courseloads, but I do not even have to push that bcz they are very motivated to be high achievers in school. She was on year round varsity sports teams and held a job from the time she was 16.5 and graduated with a 3.97 GPA.

She paid for her own gas, any social activities she wanted to do, and was responsible for her room, laundry, all chores involving her personal spaces. She was asked to help with transportation errands for me, kitchen clean up, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning etc on a regualr basis when she was around.

My other two teens are non drivers and not yet working outside of home, but both want to eventually to acquire spending money. I also expect them to hold onto part of their employment pay as spending money in college bcz I am not going to expect them to work the first year of college in order to acclimate easier.

I have tried set joblists and such, but not so much anymore, I do expect help and consider it all a part of 1. Learning how to function/run a household for when they are on their own and need to know how to clean toilets, wash clothes, cook and clean a kitchen etc. and 2. Our shared responsibility as members of this household to keep our home running smoothly and cleanly. I do not pay allowance, but with proper attitude and consistent pitching in, I will give them the spending money they needto do things with their friends.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:58 PM
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Thank you for the honest responses. I was wondering if my expectations for our children were too high or the norm.

I grew up in a single parent household and always had chores. We were taught that in a family, everyone helps out. Before I was able to work, I babysit and would take care of my neighbors animals during their vacation to make money. From the time I was 15 or 16 up until this day I have had a job in one form or another ~ full or part time, or working from home.

I am having major issues with dh and dss. Dh always worked and had chores too, but he lets dss sit around and do nothing.....

We are a family of 7 living on one income.

DSS is 15, will be 16 in December. He will be a sophomore in hs, but just barely passed last year. He does nothing!!! UGH! Actually, he does unload the dishwasher but will slam the dishes around (I have chips in almost every plate and bowl we own) and complains about it the whole time.

He is supposed to take the trash out daily, and wheel the bins down to the end of the driveway 2x per week and then wheel them back up. He is also supposed to mow the backyard....dh is picky about how the front yard looks, so he does that.


He is supposed to do his own laundry, but has only washed his clothes 2x since school let out in June. He would rather wear dirty clothes than do his own laundry.

Dh doesn't make him do any of his 'chores'.....he says it is less aggravation if he does it himself.

I argue that you are just teaching him to be lazy and irresponsible.

Yesterday, dh went out to clean up the back yard.....clean up the pool, etc. Dh told the girls to get their shoes to come out and help. The girls asked dss is he wanted to come help and he said 'uh no'.....and went upstairs and sat on his butt all day.

He was at my mil's all summer and just came back last week. I didn't mind doing the trash and dishwasher while he wasn't here but I don't think a 15 yr old should sit around and do nothing.

Last night dss was saying that he can’t wait until he is 16, has a car and a go out with his friends. Dh and I agreed years ago that the kids (all of them) will be required to work, pay for at least ½ of the purchase of a car, all the gas, car maintenance and insurance. But when ever dss asks talks about getting a car, dh just blows him off…….making dss think we are going to pay for it and he won’t have to work for it.
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Old 08-21-2011, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emerelaino View Post
I have tried set joblists and such, but not so much anymore, I do expect help and consider it all a part of 1. Learning how to function/run a household for when they are on their own and need to know how to clean toilets, wash clothes, cook and clean a kitchen etc. and 2. Our shared responsibility as members of this household to keep our home running smoothly and cleanly. I do not pay allowance, but with proper attitude and consistent pitching in, I will give them the spending money they needto do things with their friends.
This is pretty much how it worked in our house. We were very compliant about helping out. Had we not been, I'm sure more rules would have needed to be put into action, but since we did what we were asked this worked.

I also have to say, my parents were relatively well off and money wasn't an issue. When money is an issue (as it was in my DH's home) I'm sure rules change to suit that.
~~~~~~~
Yea, in your situation, a child that is just sitting around doing nothing - not working on his schoolwork, no job, etc. - and is a PITA about doing anything asked of him...that would NOT be ok with me, either. If your little girls can help out in the yard, your DSS most certainly can and should.

I agree that not holding him to any responsibilities is teaching him to be lazy. I think it's different with school to concentrate on, but the chores you have him doing are really just part of being a family, IMO.
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Last edited by abmama; 08-21-2011 at 03:03 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #12  
Old 08-22-2011, 12:26 AM
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When I was in HS, I had to learn how to take care of a house (dishes, floors, bathroom, laundry ect) well not learn because I had been helping but in HS I had to do it myself. At 16 I got a job and saved for a car. I paid for gas, insurance, and other car costs. For clothes my Dad gave me $50 for school clothes anything above and beyond that I had to pay for.

I also had to keep at least a 3.5 GPA, and keep up with my flute lessons and newspaper staff things that needed to be done.
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Old 08-22-2011, 12:34 AM
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What do they do around the house (chores, etc)? Garbage, recycling, dishes (we rotate), & assisting us in other chores.

Does he/she work? Yes. Saturdays from 1-5AM with a woman from the local newspaper. He assists her in bundling them. He also receives extra money from his Grandpa for mowing his lawn every other week. He loves that.

How old are they? 15.

Do they drive? No.

Do they pay for their insurance, car maintenance, gas, etc? N/A.
~~~~~~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by the.real.babycakes View Post
Mike is 15 and starts his sophmore year tomorrow. He is responsible for keeping his room clean and he also clears the dinner table and sets the dinner table. He does his own laundry and feeds the cat. He's supposed to do dishes (shared chore with 12 yr old) but he's done such a ~POOP~ty job lately I'm taking over. He does random chores that I tell him to do. He does not have a job but I expect he will next summer. He will pay his gas and insurance and half the cost of a car if he wants one. We are a one income, five person family so we can't afford to buy him a car or pay his insurance but we'll help as much as we can.
Mine starts his sophomore year tomorrow as well.
~~~~~~~
FTR, we have an abnormal situation. Our DS hasn't lived with us his whole life and did his own laundry, cooking, and cleaning when he lived with his biological Mother. He has too much life experience, and we'd like him to be more of a teenager now than an independent man.
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Last edited by -Blair-; 08-22-2011 at 12:37 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #14  
Old 08-22-2011, 12:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jemjamcustoms View Post
Thank you for the honest responses. I was wondering if my expectations for our children were too high or the norm.

I grew up in a single parent household and always had chores. We were taught that in a family, everyone helps out. Before I was able to work, I babysit and would take care of my neighbors animals during their vacation to make money. From the time I was 15 or 16 up until this day I have had a job in one form or another ~ full or part time, or working from home.

I am having major issues with dh and dss. Dh always worked and had chores too, but he lets dss sit around and do nothing.....

We are a family of 7 living on one income.

DSS is 15, will be 16 in December. He will be a sophomore in hs, but just barely passed last year. He does nothing!!! UGH! Actually, he does unload the dishwasher but will slam the dishes around (I have chips in almost every plate and bowl we own) and complains about it the whole time.

He is supposed to take the trash out daily, and wheel the bins down to the end of the driveway 2x per week and then wheel them back up. He is also supposed to mow the backyard....dh is picky about how the front yard looks, so he does that.


He is supposed to do his own laundry, but has only washed his clothes 2x since school let out in June. He would rather wear dirty clothes than do his own laundry.

Dh doesn't make him do any of his 'chores'.....he says it is less aggravation if he does it himself.

I argue that you are just teaching him to be lazy and irresponsible.

Yesterday, dh went out to clean up the back yard.....clean up the pool, etc. Dh told the girls to get their shoes to come out and help. The girls asked dss is he wanted to come help and he said 'uh no'.....and went upstairs and sat on his butt all day.

He was at my mil's all summer and just came back last week. I didn't mind doing the trash and dishwasher while he wasn't here but I don't think a 15 yr old should sit around and do nothing.

Last night dss was saying that he can’t wait until he is 16, has a car and a go out with his friends. Dh and I agreed years ago that the kids (all of them) will be required to work, pay for at least ½ of the purchase of a car, all the gas, car maintenance and insurance. But when ever dss asks talks about getting a car, dh just blows him off…….making dss think we are going to pay for it and he won’t have to work for it.
I don't have much advice about the other stuff but for laundry, you could make him put his dirty clothes in a hamper or basket in your room. When he wants clean clothes you hand him the basket so he can do laundry. He won't have dirty clothes to wear if you have them.
__________________
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Chickens in our suburban micro farm:
Pox, Cheep Cheep, Pearl, Chanel, Princess Sofia, Princess Diane, Cloudy, Captain Glumi Blue, Stacylicious, Steak N Shake and Wanda

Our dogs: Luc, Dash, Sin and Apollo

Our cat: Sassy

Our parrotlet: Cookie

Our snakes: Streak, yellow rat snake and Baby Bertha, ball python

Our beardies: Leo and Fred

Our leopard gecko: Dottie

Our fat tailed gecko: Lizzy

Our crested gecko: Boris

  #15  
Old 08-22-2011, 01:30 AM
billsanders billsanders is offline
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I have a 16 year old son and his chores (and have been for years) unloading and loading the dishwasher, feeding the cat and changing the litterbox, keeping his room and doing his own laundry. He also cleans the bathroom on Saturdays. That chore started because he refused to "hit the toilet" and I got tired of cleaning up after him, so, he cleans the bathroom. Oh and he takes out the trash. He does not get paid to do this, he is a member of the family and therefore is expected to do some of the housework. I've kinda started him on cooking a little. The boy will be out on his own in just 2 short years (maybe) and he needs to know how to do more than throw a pizza in the oven.
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Jenn
I am a rambler and an accomplished beginning appeased with wanders through life like or


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