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  #31  
Old 02-11-2013, 02:34 AM
-Blair- -Blair- is offline
Crotch flap, baby?
 
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He just switched meds because his meds weren't working well anymore, unfortunately. He could tell and so could I.
His new one is working, praise the Lord.
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  #32  
Old 02-11-2013, 03:44 AM
Spring Spring is offline
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Awesome! I'm glad he has something that helps. And a mama who loves him enough to make him be responsible!
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  #33  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:53 AM
jenniferjunniper jenniferjunniper is offline
I think there was nipple twisting involved
 
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Your chore rules are good. I do think you are wanting to control everything in his life. You need to let him be on some things. We make sure our older girls are upstairs by 10, if when they are up there they decide to stay up, oh well. They are old enough to choose to either be tired, or get the rest they need. If they are tired the next day, too bad,they dont get to nap or anything like that. The sweater rule is IMO silly. He is not a baby. And not wearing a sweater will not make someone sick. If he chooses to be cold, oh well. He will learn, you need to giv him the responsibility to learn, and by trying to have your hand in every single aspect of his life is not going to teach him the things you want him to learn, but it will make him constantly buck against all your rules.

The waking up, is great! This is what we do. If you dont get up you dont get to school late, you get up, get dressed, brush your teeth, and walk to school. I will not drive you if you choose to sleep in and be late.

chores. We ground for those too. If the big girls dont load or unload the dishwasher which is their only real job, they lose their priveledges for 24 hours. Phone, practices, computer, everything. it works. I think it is important that your punishment fit the crime. Me grounding them for a week for not loading the dishwasher once in a week, would be silly, and unfair.

All teenagers lie. Period. I think they are hardwired for it. I also think a lot of their lying is not lying, but not listening, and hearing what they want to hear, and then they add their spin to things. It is so annoying.

Being a mother to teens is hard, and not rewarding!! LOL! But then there are days taht are wonderful.
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  #34  
Old 02-11-2013, 08:03 PM
JennyHadAVision JennyHadAVision is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Blair- View Post
Going to bed later than me means you have to go to bed EARLIER than me. I think that one would be pretty darn fair. We started getting better bedtime results when we threatened this one. We go to bed at 9. If he can't get himself to bed by midnight alone, he goes to bed at 9 too.

Uncompleted chores?????? (Taking out trash, putting out trash cans every Tuesday, assisting with unloading/loading dishwasher if I haven't gotten around to it which happens about once each week, and assisting with mopping/vacuuming preschool if I ask) "If I haven't gotten around to it" is too vague for this age. "At 4pm you will do the dishes. If I have already done them, consider it a gift. Bonus for you."

Ignoring requests first time around?????? I stopped saying, "please do X" and started saying, "please do X right now" or "please do X before you go to bed/watch tv/have dinner." Specific time frames. If he doesn't respond to time frames, it has to be right now. We have done this a couple times. It has to be refreshed periodically, but a couple days of having to drop what he's doing to do a chore Right. Now. is generally sufficient.

Lies to his Dad about what I said so that it "works" for him?????? This would receive an unholy smackdown. Lie to me? Bad. Lie ABOUT me? Oh, child... A person who disrespects me like that is likely to find that he has very few luxuries in my home.


Right now we are leaving for Church in 7 minutes. He was lazy and didn't set his alarm again. He has 2 alarms that he can easily set (one being on an iPhone that his dad pays for). I am going to wake him up in 2 minutes and tell him he has FIVE MINUTES to get dressed. No breakfast, hell have to wait until our family date after church to eat. I think that's a pretty good consequence. You don't wake yourself up, then I get decide when you will. THIS one is an ongoing battle and I don't know how to make lasting impressions. I will wake up a person who has forgotten to set an alarm. I forget sometimes too and it's a courtesy I'd want extended. I take no responsibility for it, but if I know someone overslept, I wake them. If I'm unwilling to wake him when I realize he's sleeping, I'd leave him home.


He's in JROTC and has practice 4 days each week after school. That is an option for grounding him from that would HURT. A person who cannot manage his short list of chores on Tuesday clearly does not have time for ROTC on Wednesday. He needs to be home, doing his chores. I bet you don't have to do that more than once.
~~~~~~~
Oh, I should add htat he isn't a bad teenager. I actually think he's quite good, but these developments are unacceptable in my home and my rules need to be followed.

He's not a bad kid, you're right. He's a good kid in an incredibly stressful situation who hasn't really had a good background in positive habits and choices and if this is the extent of the drama he's slinging, you're in good shape except for the lying thing. I mean, of course it all needs addressing, but it's pretty small potatoes for the most part. The lying is the one that makes my head explode. It's dishonorable and disloyal- and those are words that would be in my conversation with the offender.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyngirl View Post

The wearing weather appropriate clothes. I just say, "You are not a toddler. I should not have to tell you what weather appropriate attire is."

But don't forget teen boys run like a 100 degrees hotter than we do.
I blame hormones.

This is a fair point. I don't fight clothing battles unless it is going to make me miserable later.
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Last edited by JennyHadAVision; 02-11-2013 at 08:05 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
  #35  
Old 02-11-2013, 09:00 PM
-Blair- -Blair- is offline
Crotch flap, baby?
 
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I'll stop fighting some of the battles.

What else do I stop fighting beyond clothing??? I really don't nitpick about many things. The only issues I have are the ones I listed in the first post (beyond typical irritating habits of teenagers LOL, but those I just twitch at and move on).
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  #36  
Old 02-12-2013, 12:28 AM
emerelaino emerelaino is offline
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If you were looking to let go a little on another issue, maybe try the bedtime one at a time (like the weekend) when lack of sleep won't have terribly dire consequences. Basically give him a bedtime guideline, but remind him that regardless of when he goes to bed, he will still be up at "x" time and will be expected to perform whatever you need of him with a positive and helpful attitude. Set up the scenario so that the consequence of not going to bed early enough is going to be suffered by him and him alone in the form of feeling miserable and exhausted. This will help him in the long run learn how to take responsibility for his actions and decisions and to learn to think out consequences of decisions he makes, skills he needs to develop to be able to function as a responsible adult in the world eventually.
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  #37  
Old 02-12-2013, 01:14 AM
cammiesue cammiesue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seun View Post
For the bedtime, I think I would wake him up early every day. So you stayed up until 1 am? Nice to see ya. It's 6:30 am (or whenever you get up). Too bad you got so little sleep. Maybe tonight you'll think about going to bed earlier.
Yes this! We did/do this with our foster kids (and our four year olds). It works way better then fighting over bed time. It also frees us from the stress of "making" them go to bed.
  #38  
Old 02-12-2013, 11:02 AM
Danni Danni is offline
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Blair have you tired to talk with Price abotu his ideas for bedtime/weekend bedtime/ getting enough sleep?

I know that YOU see that he needs X amount of sleep and that it is best to go tobed erlier rather than later but for him to really leanr it, comprehend it and make it a long lsting lesson HE needs to see it rather than to be forced to do it.
*disclaimer-I very well may have missed that you already had that kind of talk with him.
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  #39  
Old 02-12-2013, 11:46 AM
romanlili romanlili is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seun View Post
For the bedtime, I think I would wake him up early every day. So you stayed up until 1 am? Nice to see ya. It's 6:30 am (or whenever you get up). Too bad you got so little sleep. Maybe tonight you'll think about going to bed earlier.
I do this with my husband. want to stay up until 2 am playing games and watching tv? I'm still going to wake you up at 7:30 to start the day with your child. I'm more inclined to let him sleep in if I know he went to bed at a regular time.
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  #40  
Old 02-12-2013, 05:41 PM
JennyHadAVision JennyHadAVision is offline
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I should throw out that the only reason my kid gets to stay up until midnight is that we homeschool and he can sleep until 9am. Midnight is not necessarily a reasonable bedtime for a teen who has to get up for a traditional school schedule.
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  #41  
Old 02-21-2013, 11:26 AM
Laundryqueenof6 Laundryqueenof6 is offline
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OMG~reading this made me smile.Its an everyday battle with my Teenage Daughter (16).
I truly believe our kids got seperatet at Birth,they are so much a like...
Chores,same here only Dishwasher and its a battle...
Winter time,wear a Jacket oh a sweater will do..
Summer time,lets put a jacket on a Snow storm might breeze thru???
Late night,Internet Facebook Twitter...OMG I am so close to just take all the electronics and burn them in the back yard....
Plus no real communication anymore which makes me really sad
Ok My vent is now over....
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we moved all the way from Alaska to Germany

Life has been so hectic lately...that I need more then just coffee to get me out of Bed
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