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  #46  
Old 12-06-2010, 02:11 PM
nkotbfan nkotbfan is offline
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I agree with Sarah/Kermittfrog. I try my best to keep the lines of communication open with ODD. I talk to her about why I don't want her wearing certain clothes. She is 12 (13 in Feb), but looks much older. I have started to allow her wear some mascara and lip gloss and on special occasions more than that. I have taught her what colors look good on her without looking whorish. As for clothes, I am very picky... I tell her that I have eyes all over this town and I will find out... I had issues over the summer where she was rolling the waistband of her shorts so that her ass was hanging out. So she was not allowed to wear anything above the knee all summer. Maybe a little extreme given the hot summer we had, but I think she learned her lesson. I think the only thing you can do is find some sort of happy medium. I try to remember how hard it was to be that age... that helps. They are so desperate to fit in... but they need to know that there are certain rules made to keep them safe.
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  #47  
Old 12-06-2010, 02:50 PM
yeswehave8 yeswehave8 is offline
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Originally Posted by nkotbfan View Post
I agree with Sarah/Kermittfrog. I try my best to keep the lines of communication open with ODD. I talk to her about why I don't want her wearing certain clothes. She is 12 (13 in Feb), but looks much older. I have started to allow her wear some mascara and lip gloss and on special occasions more than that. I have taught her what colors look good on her without looking whorish. As for clothes, I am very picky... I tell her that I have eyes all over this town and I will find out... I had issues over the summer where she was rolling the waistband of her shorts so that her ass was hanging out. So she was not allowed to wear anything above the knee all summer. Maybe a little extreme given the hot summer we had, but I think she learned her lesson. I think the only thing you can do is find some sort of happy medium. I try to remember how hard it was to be that age... that helps. They are so desperate to fit in... but they need to know that there are certain rules made to keep them safe.
DSD 12 does this, too, and it drives me batty! She has freakishly long legs (a 33 inch inseam actually fits her!) and it is just exaggerated when she does this. I cannot get her to understand that this is NOT an attractive look on anybody, but especially a young girl.

It doesn't help that she is the youngest cheerleader for her school, so she is around girls who are much more mature than she is and she thinks she needs to be just like them. Trust me, she has almost lost cheerleading more than once over this behavior.

Denelle, I am glad it isn't as bad as you thought. I hope this is a good opportunity for you two to talk things out and head off more trouble in the future. DS 17 is on prescription stuff for his acne because the Proative and the like weren't working. If it is bad, maybe take her to the pedi for stronger stuff. Our insurance covers his.
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  #48  
Old 12-06-2010, 03:27 PM
snookemz snookemz is offline
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the short waistband rolling is a cheerleader/dance team thing, helps in practice when you need the feel of your uniform skirt but you're practicing in shorts.
Not so much a good look elsewhere.
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  #49  
Old 12-06-2010, 04:22 PM
nkotbfan nkotbfan is offline
It took me forever to say something funny
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Quote:
She has freakishly long legs (a 33 inch inseam actually fits her!) and it is just exaggerated when she does this. I cannot get her to understand that this is NOT an attractive look on anybody, but especially a young girl.
Same for my DD! She is 5'7" and long all over!!

Quote:
the short waistband rolling is a cheerleader/dance team thing, helps in practice when you need the feel of your uniform skirt but you're practicing in shorts.
Not so much a good look elsewhere.
Yes, that is where she picked up the habit, at cheer. But not ok walking around town!
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  #50  
Old 12-08-2010, 10:02 PM
~*MaRy*~ ~*MaRy*~ is offline
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do you have a basement?
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  #51  
Old 12-18-2010, 02:21 PM
jenniferjunniper jenniferjunniper is offline
I think there was nipple twisting involved
 
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Okay here is my take. I think at times we expect our children to act a certain way, or to think the same way since we bore them, but that is not how it works!! LOL! I think it is great that your DH thinks being natural is beautiful, and she does not need makeup, but your DD does not feel the same way, and on issues such as these, I find it is way easier to be understanding, and to not get too worked up. A little makeup is not a big deal, if applied tastefully. My 13 yo is at a difficult time as well, she has a lot of acne, but is a stunning girl, but all she sees is acne. ANd then she compares herself to her big sister, and just feels like the ugly duckling, so she struggles to find her place, and to stand out. She wears makeup, and we had to have a few talks about what I thought was appropiate. She was laying on the black eyeliner and mascara, I told her, no, I think 13 is too young to wear black eyeliner and mascara, so we comprimised, I bought her brown, and showed her how to apply. She now always looks appropiate, and tasteful, and it is a battle that I did not have to have. I have found that I am too controlling, and I have to let up, and I do not have to control every aspect of there lives. Which is what my mom did. I resented her so much, for not letting me wear a bit of makeup, which I did tastefully, and for not letting me be me. So why your DH may not like makeup on a girl, does not mean that that is how your DD should think. she knows how you and your DH feel, and now maybe it is time for her to have some freedom to make some choices of her own. this is such a hard age, and it gets harder, but the more open and understanding we are, the easier it is. Oh, and I should add, that we do have very high standards as far as dress goes. It is non negotiable. As LDS we have standards that we hold fast to, and the girls are cool with that. Of course they will always try to buck up against those standards, but when they see that they can look cute, and stylish while being modest, it is a non issue. So hugs to you!!! Just wait until she gets a crush on a juvenile deliquent!!! LOL!!!
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  #52  
Old 12-18-2010, 02:35 PM
Shopaholic Shopaholic is offline
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I think all young teens go through that phase where they think more is better in regards to makeup and then they grow up and realize men think less is more!
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  #53  
Old 12-18-2010, 05:26 PM
Pinoikoi Pinoikoi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily_Grace View Post
I'm glad to be dealing with an overly hormonal boy. At least I know he's not sneaking off to apply his mascara.
You never know.
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That said.. . my mother went to Catholic school (uniforms).. and she said lots of girls left the house with their uniforms perfectly in place, but by the time they got out of school at the end of the day, their bobby socks were in their bras, and the skirts were hiked up..
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Last edited by Pinoikoi; 12-18-2010 at 05:28 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost by CDN
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